Imposter Syndrome

It's not what you think it is. It is in fact, the imposter.

A syndrome is a set of medical signs and symptoms which are correlated with each other and often associated with a particular disease or disorder. The word derives from the Greek σύνδρομον, meaning "concurrence". A syndrome is paired with a definite cause and becomes a disease.

So right off the bat, it's not a syndrome.

Imposter syndrome is loosely defined as doubting your abilities and feeling like a fraud. It disproportionately affects high-achieving people, who find it difficult to accept their accomplishments. Many question whether they're deserving of accolades.

So by definition, it's not a "syndrome." It's all based on our feelings. Our perception of ourselves.

Where does this come from, though? Is it from a lack of support growing up? Or are these people you looked up to actively cutting you down? Is it from fear of failure or success?

Let's consider whether it is from a lack of support or being cut down. "It disproportionately affects high-achieving people". Well, that seems odd, as evidence suggests that high-achieving people tend to have a very supportive network. I do think, however, that it disproportionately affects artistic people. High-achieving or not. As for people cutting you down. I have suffered and am battling this imposter of a syndrome. When people try to cut me down, it fires me up. "Hold my fucking beer." is my usual catch cry. Even if I'm not holding a damn beer, I'll buy some to say it.

So I think those that experience that negativity, it depends on who they are. I don't think that by itself would cause these feelings. It would prompt you to prove them wrong or stop you from trying. Not trying isn't imposter syndrome, as you haven't achieved anything by not trying.

Is it a fear of failure or success that creates this? Again, these fears are developed through their complex circumstances. I had a friend who was a very talented artist. He started getting noticed, and a leading prime-time TV talk show host in Australia wanted him on his show. This would have given him so much publicity. Now I met him ten years after this event. He was living below the poverty line. I asked him what had happened. He had gone out to be on the show. Had been flown there, put up in accommodation, literally at the last minute. He backed out.

He said it was a fear of success. He was afraid of what fame and fortune would do to him. He said it would change him. I told him straight up I thought that was bullshit. I still do believe that; that is bullshit.

Money doesn’t change people. Money doesn’t corrupt people. Those people are who they are. How they behave when they have money is who they are. They couldn’t show it before having cash because they didn’t have money. We perceive they have changed, as they aren’t the person we knew. They are just revealing who they are.

The same as drugs and alcohol don’t change a person (excluding long-term use), Drugs and alcohol lower inhibitions. This means on these substances, you are more inclined to behave precisely as you WANT to because you aren’t concerned about the consequences. Your conscious mind is not filtering your thoughts before you act on them. My ex revealed that about herself with the use of drugs. She wasn’t the person, I thought, and the longer it went on, the more I realised and discovered that the person I knew had been a complete fabrication. So I said to her towards the end.

“I don’t like the person you are becoming.” I realise now that she was revealing the person she was.

Her response...

“I fucking hate your guts, too.”

I honestly laughed and said. “That’s not what I said.” And walked away before it escalated even further.

Okay, so I don’t believe fear of failure or success causes this.

A friend recently told me that her psychologist told her it’s a sign of what is really important to you.

At first, I thought, Nah, that wouldn’t be it. Why would you try to sabotage yourself from doing important things to you?

Then I considered it further and remembered a tweet I did many moons ago.

Oh wow. That’s trippy. That’s a year ago, to the day. Well, it was when I typed this part.

So how does self-sabotage relate to Imposter syndrome? Here’s where it starts to get interesting. I was playing a game on my phone instead of doing any number of things I should have been doing when a stupid ad interrupted my gameplay. I usually have the volume down, but not today.

“.. our nervous system is hard-wired for comfort..”

Wait a second that reminds me; I’m thinking about a webinar I attended. Chris Duncan is talking about the superconscious; I got there from his book, You’re Not Broken.

The unconscious mind seeks out what it knows it can survive. So comfort doesn’t mean being comfortable in that quote. Instead, it’s taking the path of least resistance. By seeking what it knows it can survive, it will actively dissuade you from pursuing more or better.

Why? It’s the unknown factor. Suppose you’ve lived in poverty your whole life. Well, you can survive that. But you might think that’s crazy; no one wants to stay poor. No, they don’t. Yet more often than not, just wanting something isn’t enough. You need to seek out skills you don’t have. This takes you out of your comfort zone.

You may have read my article. https://zirkels.com/a/six-things-mentally-strong-people-do--apparently, I talk about getting out of your comfort zone, as this is where the magic happens.

What is the subconscious/unconscious mind’s opinion of leaving your comfort zone? Well, can we survive? Don’t know. Well, we better throw up the usual feelings of fear and doubt.

Feelings of fear and doubt.

“Imposter syndrome is loosely defined as doubting your abilities and feeling like a fraud.”

Fear of the unknown, we don’t know if we can survive outside our comfort zone. But, more to the point, WE KNOW we can survive our current situation because we are.

So we get feelings of doubt about our abilities to learn new things or even show the skills we do have.

We aren’t here to survive. We are here to learn from one another and to thrive. Learning means you grow, you explore, and you create some magic.

So this imposter syndrome is just an imposter. It starts with learning from our parents about what is survivable and fearing change, fearing what is new and different. Always told to go to school, then university. Get that degree. Then work for the same company for 50 damn years.

That’s safe. No, it isn’t.

How do we beat this when it’s our mind doing it?

We do the uncomfortable things. Start small. Once we’ve achieved this, we celebrate it.

We think, wow, that wasn’t hard at all. That felt good.

We survived that.

Then you repeat. The subconscious mind can not ignore this new data. This is the new comfort zone. We know we can survive this. Now we give the doubt back.

Well, we easily survived that. So why aren’t we doing more of it?

Get out there and do more.